Is it real this time?!?

My lawyer has e-mailed me today stating that she has finally heard back from the Judge and received my ex's signed copy of the divorce decree. I have to appear before court on Monday! Everything should go well and I hope to be in and out in a hurry! Then I will be celebrating!! Oh I can't wait to hear the words. To know that it is all over and I can go on with my life. The sexy man that I am talking to should be pleased to know that it is over too. hehehe.

I have been getting back into doing my makeup the way I like it. Payday is tomorrow. Hope I get a good check. :P I need a haircut!! Hope I will have enough to go get it done soon. I dont trust my mom or myself to properly cut or dye it so to a salon I will go. I am tired of fucked up hair. I need it back to the way I like it.

My folks have been wearing me thin. I can't handle all the negative input I get from them. They want me to live with them and go to school without having a job. WTF! I understand wanting me to do this and suggesting it once but every time I try to talk about the future they harp in with this crap. I barely survived living with them the first time and am only managing it now because I spend most of my time at work or in the room on the computer. I love my parents but they always try to control my every move. My sister and cousins didn't like that I moved here when ex abandoned me and monster man but I truly didn't have any other option. Now I feel stuck. I want a good paying job so I can have my own place but even mentioning moving or rent houses or jobs in other towns and my folks get this really nasty look on their faces and have absolutely nothing good to say. Just negative bullshit and guilt trips. I just need to be around some friends who I can truly discuss things with and not feel like they are just feeding me a line so they can get what they want out of me. So sick of people's shit. So sick and tired of people trying to control me. Of coarse I am with the people who raised me to be a fool who listened to what I was told and to never question and to put my faith in people who were only going to harm me. I did it and ended up almost killed. I have come a long ways from then and just hate being in this house again. I can stand to visit but to live here is like being in that prison again. I must remember who I am and how strong I really am. I wont be that person anymore. I will get out of this place again!