Day I am determind to change everything for the better

 

Well, the last week I have been trying to get over that jerk that ripped out my heart. I am coming to terms with it and have done a couple of spells for heartbreak and to have my pictures returned to me. But... he as usual is giving me stupid excuses as to why he just doesn't have time to send them to me. Stupid jerk! I just want what was promised to me and that I worked hard for. I am letting it go so I can focus on the future now. I will be repaid in full and so will he. Karma is a bitch when you act like he did. I forgive him and will forget him. He can just cling to those pics cause that's the only way he's every going to see my sexy self again. I will find other photographers to work with and will make my dreams come true. I can feel it in my chest that I am working my way there. Slowly but surely it will happen for me and I will do it all on my own.

So sunday I had a bridal show in H-town to work at. It was awesome! I am too alternative to have been a model for the runway show but instead was an assistant to put the dresses on the girls. I had so much fun it just rejuvenated my passion for this business and made me realize that I still have the deep aching need to be on the runway. I haven't felt like that in so long! Such a rush! I had a blast and am now determined to lose weight and get out there! I can do this! I will make my dreams come true! I was born for this!

I have a job interview today! Yay! Its about time hahaha. I need a job so bad but I hope that I will still be able to visit my friends on spring break. I miss my best friend Jena so much! And her boys are my son's best friends too. He is all excited to get to go. If anything, I will just take him out of school for a few days to go see them if my new job interferes with our plans. They live 2 hours away from us and with the conflicting schedules it is hard to plan to go down there.

Broken Heart.

So the man I have been dating for the last year is an asshole and played me for a fool. I thought that everything was fine and kept believing all his excuses as to why he wouldn't meet up or try to see me. He still called me baby and told me how much he missed me. I felt like as soon as I moved up to where he lived we would be together and he even said that he though we could move in together. We were suppose to meet up the day after valentines day to celebrate and have a sexy getaway from it all. He told me he had a special surprise for me and that he was so excited to be with me again. Then it all falls apart. I find a post on Facebook by his new girlfriend announcing that he asked her to be his girlfriend on a romantic valentines dinner the night he told me that he was working. I cried so much, my heart was crushed. It was an eye opener and I realized that he never intended to be with me. He hurt me so bad. He has been lying to me for months about everything. No wonder he was always so busy. I don't deserve to be treated like this. I have yet to find a man who isn't playing with my head and using me till they get with some other girl. I just need to be alone. No more love, no more games, no more of the lies. I am sick of being used. I will just be alone. Then no one can hurt me. Fuck love. Its all lies.