Day I am determind to change everything for the better

 

Well, the last week I have been trying to get over that jerk that ripped out my heart. I am coming to terms with it and have done a couple of spells for heartbreak and to have my pictures returned to me. But... he as usual is giving me stupid excuses as to why he just doesn't have time to send them to me. Stupid jerk! I just want what was promised to me and that I worked hard for. I am letting it go so I can focus on the future now. I will be repaid in full and so will he. Karma is a bitch when you act like he did. I forgive him and will forget him. He can just cling to those pics cause that's the only way he's every going to see my sexy self again. I will find other photographers to work with and will make my dreams come true. I can feel it in my chest that I am working my way there. Slowly but surely it will happen for me and I will do it all on my own.

So sunday I had a bridal show in H-town to work at. It was awesome! I am too alternative to have been a model for the runway show but instead was an assistant to put the dresses on the girls. I had so much fun it just rejuvenated my passion for this business and made me realize that I still have the deep aching need to be on the runway. I haven't felt like that in so long! Such a rush! I had a blast and am now determined to lose weight and get out there! I can do this! I will make my dreams come true! I was born for this!

I have a job interview today! Yay! Its about time hahaha. I need a job so bad but I hope that I will still be able to visit my friends on spring break. I miss my best friend Jena so much! And her boys are my son's best friends too. He is all excited to get to go. If anything, I will just take him out of school for a few days to go see them if my new job interferes with our plans. They live 2 hours away from us and with the conflicting schedules it is hard to plan to go down there.

Broken Heart.

So the man I have been dating for the last year is an asshole and played me for a fool. I thought that everything was fine and kept believing all his excuses as to why he wouldn't meet up or try to see me. He still called me baby and told me how much he missed me. I felt like as soon as I moved up to where he lived we would be together and he even said that he though we could move in together. We were suppose to meet up the day after valentines day to celebrate and have a sexy getaway from it all. He told me he had a special surprise for me and that he was so excited to be with me again. Then it all falls apart. I find a post on Facebook by his new girlfriend announcing that he asked her to be his girlfriend on a romantic valentines dinner the night he told me that he was working. I cried so much, my heart was crushed. It was an eye opener and I realized that he never intended to be with me. He hurt me so bad. He has been lying to me for months about everything. No wonder he was always so busy. I don't deserve to be treated like this. I have yet to find a man who isn't playing with my head and using me till they get with some other girl. I just need to be alone. No more love, no more games, no more of the lies. I am sick of being used. I will just be alone. Then no one can hurt me. Fuck love. Its all lies.

Well...here it goes.

So...the craptastic job fired me due to not having enough hours to keep me on. Looking for a new job and trying to keep my spirits up. School has been great but haven't taken any pictures to post on here. Going to try harder. Making no promises though.

Big Changes.

Well last week was very busy. I was back at work trying to help get it all ready for after Christmas break when the students come back. Things were a changing at work due to the new boss and a boss that may replace him. So it was kinda stressed too.

 School was freaking fantastic! Woot! Love going to Aveda. We learned how to do manicures and pedicures. So three days of makeup application, nails and toes getting all done up. My skin is so soft! It was fun. This week we learn a little more on it and how to do acrylics but after that the class gets split in two and my half goes to the salon floor to learn how to do actual clients!!! I am nervous! Here's a picture of my makeup on sat.

SO.... I am unemployed now. :(  My friends texted me the other day telling me that one of the days that I was at school last week my boss announced to the whole crew that he was letting me and the other part time worker go. He told me today after our meeting this morning that he can only give me 3 hours a day,  but he knows that I cant afford that due to work being so far from where I live. He was trying to get me to just quit since he already did this to my friend two months ago. So I told him I would work it but that he was putting me in a tight spot due to the gas issue and that I would not quit. So he fired me instead. Well, now I have more free time to look for a job.

New Year

My new years was a bit slow this year but great. I spent the evening playing video games with my son. We had a blast playing racing games. Christmas was great too. I had loads of fun being Santa and setting everything up. I taped up red streamers to use as Santa's tape to keep in little boys and girls so they don't see Santa. I also set up footprints by the fireplace.

 Well, I haven't been on and blogged in a long time. Shame shame. Its been crazy and busy the last several months. The summer months came and left. We worked hard getting all the dorms ready for the new students. Then we were assigned buildings to upkeep, got a new boss, found a school I liked, and in October started beauty school! I'm having lots of fun and learning at a quick pace. I have made new friends! Yay! The next year is going to be great. I should graduate in November.

My guy that I am dating is so awesome. I got to see him around September and it was delightful. I still text him everyday and he is so amazing. I miss him a lot but enjoy being able to talk to him everyday. We are now able to skype which makes it so much better! Thank goodness for technology.

My new years will bring great things and change towards the better future I'm working for. Here are my resolutions for the new year.
1. start my workouts again. (I want to feel good again!)
2. blog once a month for updates and post either makeup or hairstyles once a week
3. reconnect with nature.
4.find a way to practice my religion more.
5.get a better job.
6. take steps to achieve the life I want.

Work Work WORK!!!!

I wake up early, go to work, stay at work forever!, get a freaking 30min break for lunch, then work some more, usually stay over for like 3 hours, head home which is almost 2 hours away, finally get home, take a shower and get like an hour to relax and play with the kid before I go to bed and do it all over again. Wouldn't be so bad if 1. I had a job that wasn't grueling on my feet and hands, 2. didn't have to drive so far to work and back, 3. didn't have an asshole boss who cut us out of all the overtime we work so hard for and if he didn't treat us all like crap, 4. if I live in my own place where I could be myself and happy. I am looking for places to live and a new job in the area I want to live, but it is hard since I am always at work now. I have spent all day today job searching. I am so poor that I don't know where we can move to. I really want to go to school so I can have a good job. So sick and tired of my parents putting me down and making my life here completely miserable. I just want to leave! They depress me so much and put my hopes for the future down. They are just so negative and are making me feel hopeless for the future. I refuse to give up on my dreams and I don't care if they kick me out but I can't just let them keep putting me down and trying to control my every move. I just want to be free again!

blah blah blah

whatever on the title haha. too tired to think much less figure out what to type. been working hard. and have a good little chunk of overtime for all my effort. cant wait for payday!! woot! then i can fix my car and pay bills, :P yuck. i'm thinking of moving to a different city than planned since i cant go to the school i originally planed to go to. it sucks but maybe its for the best. now i just need to contact some family for help on info for the area and to figure out moving. and get a job. right now i need rest and not walk on my now swollen foot. too many hours standing on it and driving with it has caused it to hurt really badly. i hope nothing to bad is wrong with it but i dont have the time off to go to the doctor. and still havent seen handsome yet. *sigh* maybe i can go visit my cousin instead. okay that's enough for now. i am tired.